Today I attempted yoga for the first time.

I’ve been flirting with the idea of doing yoga for a while. The only reason I haven’t tried it sooner is, well, my mom does yoga. And the classes are usually expensive. And I’m really self conscious. And I’m about as flexible as an oak board. Okay, there were a lot of reasons that I hadn’t tried yoga yet, but curiosity hasn’t been one of them.

To combat self-consciousness, expensive classes, embarrassment over my extreme non-flexibility, I requested a couple of instructional yoga DVDs from the library and decided that for this blog entry, I would attempt to do one of the workouts because I am dedicated to keeping you entertained and informed.

I actually made it about fifteen minutes into the video before I turned it off.

The yoga part was mostly great. I’ve learned that after spending years sitting at a desk, my legs are no longer my strongest limbs (that award now goes to my arms) and found a great stretch that finally helped me  stretch out the knot in my back that has been attacking me for three days. I felt all stretchy after just fifteen minutes. Hooray, yoga!

But…

The instructor was creepy. The video was done by having a voice-over explain the instructor’s poses. There were all sorts of close-ups of the instructor’s face. Her eyes were wide; her voice was coming through the speakers, but her lips? Not moving. It was very “come and get me comet! I’ve consumed the Kool Aid and am ready for my intergalactic journey to meet L Ron Hubbard!” I could not look at her without cracking up, and I couldn’t do the yoga without looking at her because I don’t know how to do yoga.

I kind of hate to say it, but I might have been better served with a book.