Miss Lazy – the part of me that routinely says things like, “You need to relax a while, let’s watch another movie,” and, “It’s too hot to cook, let’s order pizza.” I tell myself all the time, that’s not me. I’m not Lazy. I am a single mom, working and going to school; I do a lot of stuff. That stuff, however, does not include a regular exercise routine or daily optimal food choices, thanks to Miss Lazy. No matter how much I may attempt to deny her existence, her presence irrefutably interferes with my weight loss progress.

Consciously, I am aware that I need to lose weight, and that the only way to do that is to make healthy food choices and increase my level of activity. Consciously, I want to do that, but I have found out the hard way that a conscious desire for something does not make it happen for me. I need motivation, but of all the things I can do for myself, motivating me is not one of them. So, being a great motivator of others, I decided to change my approach. Recently, I started keeping a list of all the things that compel me to ignore the whispers of my indolent alter-ego. As I go along, I hope to be able to identify those items which not only discount her idle musings, but actually get her to agree and move with me.

In my quest to find what drives Miss Lazy, I have stumbled on a few small revelations about what does not motivate me.

1. My own desire, but I already knew that. Simply wanting to is not enough.
2. Well-meaning “friends” who try to guilt me into exercising because they want me to look as good as they do. I am not ego-friendly.
3. Joining a gym. Maybe I just haven’t found the right one, but I have tried several gyms over the years and their enthusiasm for my success ended when I signed on the dotted line.

At this point, I still don’t know what it will take for me to motivate myself, but I am determined now to discover what will drive Miss Lazy, and that, I think, is a healthy start.